The First Week of Milwordy

We are a week in and I am already behind. And I am not surprised. Earlier this week I sold a set of china that I had listed on eBay. The buyer was only 6hrs away and considering the liklihood of their safe arrival, we decided to hand deliver the boxes. She of course was appreciative and I lost a day. That and I was behind by 1400 words before Sunday. All that to say, I have 7k words to get in by the end of today. Which, I mean, let's be honest, it's not going to happen in one day. I am one thousand words in for today and I am feeling the pressure of getting caught up. If I can get 3800 each day this week, which is totally doable, I will back to goal by the end of Saturday. In other news, Randy and his dad got the door built for the house they are building in Green Cove Springs.

Pretty sweet, huh? This house is going to be fabulous when it's ready and I can't wait to get it on the market so the new owners can start to enjoy it.

Milwordy and Such A Voice

As October comes to a close and November begins, some exciting things are happening in my world. 1. Such A Voice: I have always wanted to be a voice in a full-length animated film. This month I have started VoiceOver Coaching to be able to do just that. Back in August I took my second intro class with Such A Voice and found that it is still at the top of my list. (My first class was years ago before I moved to FL.) I signed on with them shortly after that class and after buying all the equiptment neccesary, I have started my coaching sessions. I am uber excited to see where this leads and can't wait for you to hear my voice while watching a movie, skipping through commercials, or listening to an audio book. Who knows, I might even be a voice on the next video game you or your kids play. 2. NaNoWriMo: November is known in the writing community as National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo and for the first time ever, I will be actively participating. This past April, I joined an online writing community called Stop Writing Alone Podcast - yes, she has a podcast - and have been more intentional in carving out writing time. Every month, there is an opportunity to join the "Happy Campers" with more focused times and accountability within the group. It really has been cool to just let the words tumble out of my head onto the keyboard through my fingers. Within this group, there are a number of us that are participating in NaNoWriMo and will be cheering each other along the way. To be considered a winner within the NaNoWriMo community, you have to write 50k new words between Nov 1st and Nov 30th. Not gonna be a problem because of, well, see below. 3. Milwordy: Never have I ever heard of this until earlier this month. Yes, it is a made up word and it means what it sounds like it could mean. A million words. What it doesn't tell you is that those words are within one year. Yes. One Year. So even though 50k is need to "Win" in November, in order for me to stay on track I must write 83,334 words in November. Yikes and WooHoo all in one. My goal is to stay ahead with 85k words a month so that on the days I fall behind, I will have extra words in my bank to cash in. There is also a community of writers for this, it is just WAY smaller. One of my Happy Camper friends jumped at the opportunity to join me, so we will start our word count for this when we start NaNo. 4. YouTube, Podcast, Website: All three of these are in the works. With getting the equiptment needed for the voice coaching and the start of Milwordy, I decided now would be the perfect time to launch all the things. Because why not? It's not like I am not still selling real estate, mentoring three newer agents, taking a theology class at my church, and all the above mentioned things. Let's just add in a couple more. They are all still in the works and I will be able to be found where they will all collide at voiceandpen.com - just not yet. Still working on it. (Actually, depending on when you read this, it might just be there.) I would like to thank my friend Nicole Rivera, our fearless leader over at the Happy Campers and the voice behind Stop Writing Alone Podcast, as she designed my logo. Which is better than I had imagined it. I would add another point and I think that is enough for November. Hopefully by the end of the year, I will have my demo ready for some voice work and will be working with a literary agent to get my written words in your hands. Who knows, I may even self-publish. Until Then, TTFN

So Much On The List And Yet.....

Have you ever had so much to get done and yet nothing seems to get done? Is it an overwhelming sense of not knowing where to start or does it come from knowing it won't all get done so you don't do any of it? Whatever it is, that is where I am right now. The items on my list seem to never go anywhere no matter how much I work on them. Of course, there are no items on my list that are one and done. They all - ever last one of them - are repeats to do everyday and I don't want to do any of them. Not one. What I have found myself doing in crocheting. It is the one thing on my list that is not important and has a deadline in 4 months, so it absolutely makes sense that it would be the one thing I seem to be doing consistantly. Well, maybe not the one thing. My morning routine has been consistant - up, dogs, coffee, quiet time, run, shower, upstairs to my office by 9am. Then it starts. The "I have to get all of this done today....." so I sit and just stare at my laptop. Then my eyes drift to the books I should be reading, the book I am in the middle of writing, the voiceover work I should be prepping, the class work that needs to happen, and then I see the yarn. And that is where I start. The yarn. I will say that I play an audio book while I am working on the blanket, but come on. There are so many other things I need to be working on. I didn't even mention the Master Class subscription I have, or the videos I need to watch for a training I am doing for my church. Forget the journaling and the organizing. Nope, we are going to forget all of that and crochet. Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe tomorrow I will actually work on things that need to be actually worked on. Like, now. Probably not, but one can hope.

Mother's Day

To be perfectly honest, I hate Mother's Day. I haven't always. Growing up all I wanted to be was a wife and mom. I wanted to be the kind of mom where all the neighborhood kids wanted to hang out at my house and their parents knew they would be okay there. I wanted to do the fun birthdays and little surprises for no reason whatsoever. The kind of mom that my kids knew they could trust and yet also knew that I was their mom first. As they got older, I wanted them to know I was their friend and confidant, never interfering with how they raised their own families and giving my advice only when asked. I held onto that dream until about year 10 of my marriage. Year 10 is when I started doing the math. Year 10 I was 36yrs old, which would mean having my first child at 37. Not really sure how I felt about having a toddler around the house in my 40's nor was Randy, my husband, thrilled about still having kids at home in his 60's. See, he is 5yrs old than I am and we didn't just want one kid, we wanted at least 2. (If I am being honest, I always wanted 5.....and I now have 5 dogs so.....) If the first one graduates when he is 60 and I am 55, who is to say how old we would be by the time the last one left the nest. We talked and decided if it happened, it happened, we were done worrying about it or thinking it through. Worrying about it? Yes, worrying about it. When I was 33yrs old, we finally had an appointment with an ob-gyn to see what the hold up was. I knew I had endometriosis, just not the severity of it or if that was the issue. It seems it was. The fibroids that had taken residence inside of me were golf ball sized. We were told that they could be removed and because there were so many, she wasn't sure if my uterine wall would be strong enough to sustain life. So, yeah, I could get pregnant and my body could not be able to handle it. We decided it wasn't worth it. For those of you that know me well, you know that I am a very positive, optimistic person that can see the plus side in just about every situation. I knew that losing a child would change me. I knew that making the decision to have the surgery, getting pregnant, and losing the baby because I had opted to have the surgery was not an option for me. We decided against the surgery and didn't talk about it again. Fast forward to me at 41yrs of age, I am in church and one of the pastor gets up and prays for healing for endometriosis and fibroids. I cry all the time, y'all. Like at everything. SO you know I was crying then. From that day on, I have had no side effects/symptoms of having endometriosis. I was healed that day, in church, by God through the Holy Spirit. I laid hands on myself and agreed with what was being prayed from the altar. Randy and I again had the conversation, do we still want kids of our own? I mean, if we didn't want them at 36, has anything changed? And, the answer is still no. We have decided that if we get pregnant, then we do and we aren't going to "try" to get pregnant. Adoption will be in our future. We would love to welcome older children into our home one day. And if God, with his awesome sense of humor, decides diapers are also in our future then we would welcome that as well. I still don't like Mother's Day. I still gringe when someone wishes me a "Happy Mother's Day". I am an aunt to 16 awesome nieces and nephews from both sides of our families and I am a dog mom to 5 rescue dogs but I am not a mom. Mother's Day to me is a reminder of a lost dream, a reminder that we waited too long to go to the doctor, a reminder of the family I will never have. So today, on this Mother's Day, just know that not everyone who appears to be a mom, is. Some of us never had the opportunity and for us, there is nothing happy about this day. When we adopt and I get the chance to be a mom, this will all change. For now, I will stay home on Mother's Day, as I have for the last 3 years. This day is already a reminder of what has been lost. I don't need strangers picking at the wound.

Choose Wisely

The entire world has been in lock-down for the last 4-7wks from a virus we started out knowing virtually nothing about. I think our understanding as a whole as improved and yet we still really don't know anything about it. Depending on which side of the fence you are on will determine who you blame and what you believe. I have literally watched a press conference and then read the follow-up article and the two have not matched. Everyone wants to spin it their own way. I think the only thing we can all agree on, well except for China, is that is came from China. So we have all been "self-isolating" or have been in quarantine in our homes. Not really a true isolation or quarantine as we can leave if need be for things like groceries, exercise and vet visits with our pets. And if you do leave, someone is going to have an opinion on the importance of your trip - of course just speculation as they really don't know because they didn't ask - or your need for a mask and gloves and yet they themselves don't actually use them properly. In 6-12 months, I believe the bankruptcies filed will hit an all-time high from businesses not reopening, leading to the unemployed staying unemployed. In Florida, we have already broken the unemployment website as it was not built for such a surge of requests, especially not on the same day. Last week the local beaches here in Jacksonville opened with limited hours and restrictions. And I discovered something....more like something I already knew was reinforced. The same people that said to shut the state down are the ones that are complaining because we are still closed. The ones that wanted to beaches opened are they same ones that are saying they were opened too soon. There are people you are just not going to make happy. There are those that will always have to have something to complain about because that is who they are, that is their normal. When all is said and done and businesses have reopened and Air B&B can start renting to out of state guests; when we get back to "normal", what will it look like? Will it really be just as we left it? Will there all of a sudden be no masks, no social distancing, concerts of 1000+ people knocking into each other? Or will there be a new normal? Will there still be people who choose to wear a mask, refusing to fist bump and definitely, definitely no hugs. Will people go back to not spending time with their families because of a meeting or a rough day at the office or they have peopled enough today? Will we go back to fathers expecting the mothers to go to work and do all the things at home that need to be done, all while making sure there is a hot meal to eat when he gets home? Or will we be nicer, kinder, more understanding? Will we share and still check in on our elderly neighbors? Will we continue to have family game night and go on bike rides and walks with the kids? This is a choice we all get to make. We get to individually decide how we choose to come out of this time of sequestering. We can choose to forget what we have learned and the time we have had with our families and act like this was just an interruption in our regularly scheduled program. Or we can choose to embrace the changes, enjoy our families, be nice to the grandma that is not even aware you are waiting for her to pick her cereal. It is your choice. Choose Wisely.

Writing Prompt #1: Use the Author As the Model

Explanation: Rewrite the first three sentences of a favorite book or current book you are reading. Change the names, verbs, etc using the sentence as your guide. Book: The Wrong Side of Goodbye, Michael Connelly (chosen because it is literally the only fiction/novel type book on the bookcase next to me) "Bosch didn't mind the wait. The view was spectacular. He didn't bother with the waiting room couch. Instead he stood with his face a foot from the glass and took in the view that ranged from the rooftops of downtown to the Pacific Ocean." Rebecca could wait for hours. What she was taking in was remarkable. She couldn't stand staying inside. Instead she was out on the balcony where she got the full view of the snow-capped mountains and the hidden lake below.... ....She had been waiting. For hours, that is. She expected as much, as her visit was unannounced and she knows Randy doesn't like surprises. Any kind of surprise. Even from his baby sister. So she would wait and enjoy the view. He would eventually have to go home and she knows where that is even if he decides to brush her off. The last time she came unannounced he had brushed her off and she had let him. Ten people died because of it. This time, she would not let that happen. She saw a pattern and he was going to listen to her, even if it is through his bathroom door in that monstrosity of a house he calls home. He bought it for Julie because Julie always has to have better that everyone else. Randy would have been just as happy in a cabin in the valley. However, Julie drives their boat so Julie gets what she wants. Rebecca heard the soft scraping of the chair behind her and saw her brother standing there. He was more pale that she remembered and had lost about 20lbs. As she turned towards him to get a full view, he lit a cigarette. "Randy. Really? You're smoking again? I thought you quit when the twins were born." The twins - Julia and Julius - were Randy's first born. They were now in Ivy League schools with undeclared majors and no one was pushing them to decide. Not even the school as they knew Randy and Julie would just continue with payments and who says no to easy cash. "Hello to you too, little sister. Long time no eye contact." Rebecca let out a soft sigh and decided it could wait. The cigarettes that is, not the reason she came to see him. "Do you recall two years ago when I came to you and told you I had discover an anomaly in the system and you didn't take me seriously?" Randy slowly lifted his head, letting his cigarette hang out of his mouth. "Yes." He didn't need a reminder. He hasn't fallen asleep since then without the faces of that mistake floating through his mind. "There's another anomaly. It's bigger this time and I need you to look into it." Randy let his head slowly fall back down as he watched an ant carry the smallest bread crumb he had even seen across the balcony. "Randy. Did you hear me? I think they're back." Randy stood up and put his cigar out on the arm of the chair. As he walked back inside, he turned to look at Rebecca. "Yes. I heard you and even though I don't think it is possible, be back at 7pm. Shirley will have left by then and Julie is going to a play tonight with the Margarita Girls. We won't be bothered." And with that, he was gone. As Rebecca walked back to her bike, she thought of Julie and her Margarita Girls. They had been friends since middle school and had always lived near each other. When everyone was single, they were roommates and neighbors. Now that they were all married, some on their second or third marriages, they were not as willing to move around and had all agreed to live within a couple hours of Julie. Her house was centrally located and Julie always had a way of getting her way, even with this group. The husbands never joined them and as far as Rebecca knew, the husbands never asked what they were doing or where they were going. They were just happy to have the arm candy for their corporate dinners and trips to places Rebecca couldn't remember, let alone pronounce. As far as she knew, they're little outings and trips were just girls having fun and no one cheating on their husbands. As far as she knew. Rebecca got back to Randy's office just before 7pm and he was sitting in the conference room with files spread out and a half eaten sandwich from the deli on the corner on the table. He looked up as she walked into the room and asked her, "What is the anomaly 'cause I've been looking through the stuff from two years ago and I think I found a piece that doesn't fit." He smirked as he noticed the shocked look in Rebecca's face. "Yes, I kept all of this and I have been pouring over it since you gave it to me. It bothers me that I missed it and that because of my laziness people died. I was determined to be ready if they came back." Rebecca slowly sat down and just stared at her brother. "You've been studying all this. The whole time?! Why didn't you tell me? We could've been working on this together?" "Yes. I didn't tell you because I needed one of us to be out there keeping an eye on them. I knew if I told you that you would want to be here and I needed you out there." With the papers in his hand, Randy pointed through the office to the balcony. "That is where they are. That is where we will find them. This, this right here, this is how we trap them and I think I've found it." Rebecca slowly lowered herself into the chair next to her brother and looked at him for the a moment without saying a word. It was then that she realized this is why he looked pale, why he had started smoking again and why he had lost all that weight. The guilt and determination he must feel. She had not even thought of that. All she had thought of was how he had not listened and how she had to make him listen this time. All the while, he had been pouting over the files she had given him so he didn't miss it this time. He did all of that not knowing if there would even be a next time. Rebecca reached up and put her hand on his. As he looked over at her, she noticed his eyes were holding back tears. "We will get them this time. Together, we will get them."